[Miscellaneous] Feeling rather embarrassed

I mentioned in my previous post that my trip to see “the Woman in Black” was somewhat spoilt by an unfortunate incident. I wanted to put down some thoughts on that incident, as it left me rather embarrassed, and really forced me to think about some tricky issues.

I was sitting right at the side of the theatre, against the wall. The row in front of me was filled with a family; Mum, Dad, Daughter, and Grandma. Grandma and Mum were right in front of me, and during the start of the first half Grandma kept talking (not in English, so I couldn’t tell what she was saying), and occasionally laughing. This was particularly irritating when the Woman in Black first appeared; it’s meant to be a spooky moment, but her laughter somewhat spoilt the atmosphere. I shushed them a couple of times, and to be fair they got better as the half went on. 

Please remember - if you're in the theatre or the cinema, keep the noise down.

I got back from the interval to find them sitting in their seats having a whale of a time. Fair enough, but I was hoping they’d settle down when the play recommenced. Sadly this wasn’t the case. Grandma kept talking. And talking. I shushed them once, someone else shushed them, then she kept laughing and talking, as did Mum. At this point I did something I’m not proud of. I lent forward, and told them to “shut up”. Not surprisingly Mum took this badly, and threatened to throw her water over me.

The rest of the first half passed without incident. She was clearly angry, I was angry, both with them and myself, and highly embarrassed.

After the show, I immediately went to apologise for my behaviour. Mum was still angry, and gave me a comprehensive telling off, informing me that I should be more thoughtful in the future. I then quickly left, but not before Dad also stopped me and gave me a friendly pat on the shoulder, with a more gentle questioning of my conduct.

Not very often admittedly, but occasionally I fell like a bit of a tool.

It turned out that Grandma was 92, had dementia, and was enjoying a night out at the theatre. Of course there was no way for me to know her age or her medical condition from the back of her head, but it still made me feel terrible. I behaved in an inappropriate manner out of annoyance and frustration (I wouldn’t normally tell older people to ‘shut up’ like that) and was rightly told off for it. I only hope that I didn’t spoil their evening too much.

However, it brings up a tricky subject. Obviously it is completely wrong to ban people with Dementia from going out in public; that would be grossly improper. They have a right to enjoy themselves just like everyone else does. However, and a separate question, is whether the families of sufferers should carefully consider what events they take them to? In my opinion yes. In this particular situation, I think that the family could have thought a little more about what sort of show they were taking Grandma to see, and chosen a little more carefully. A musical, for example, might have been more appropriate, rather than the quiet, atmospheric play that they brought her to see. I am in no way trying to make excuses for my actions, but perhaps more thought on both sides was needed.